One of the reasons I decided to take this road trip was because I would turn 30 along the way. I love birthdays and while I would love to commemorate the next decade of my life with friends and loved ones (and still would — anyone care to come to Napa this weekend?), I thought doing something completely different than the usual would be neat. So here I am. Turning 30 way across the country from my friends and loved ones. Celebrating through Facebook messages, tweets, phone calls and text messages.

I feel like this birthday is more meditative and thoughtful for me and I kind of like that. I’d like to be a little bit more purposeful about my next decade. I spent a lot of my 20s floundering around and being all sorts of messy and reactive and unsure and insecure. And while I don’t doubt that I will make plenty of mistakes in my 30s, I know I will be more secure with those mistakes, more accepting of myself. And that is so refreshing and it fills me with ease and relief. Like my whole soul has just let out a big giant sigh. Freedom. I’m not all the way into this feeling yet, this security, but I think the further I get into my 30s, the stronger that secureness will be. This excites me.

I feel that turning 30 is opening the door to the next chapter, an even better one than the ones so far. And so far, life has been incredibly wonderful. I am grateful for the things I have learned about myself and the world and what really matters. I’m grateful to have been alive for this long. Though I’m not that old, not everyone gets to see this many years. Losing some young and vibrant people I care for has made me see how precious life is. I’m grateful to be here and experience life with its joys and pains. I’m grateful for those I love and those who love me. I’m grateful to have lessons ahead of me, I know they’ll be just what I need when I need it.

So. Here’s to the next decade: more adventures, more mistakes, more laughter, more friendships, more meaning, more love. Cheers.

Filed under life, thoughts.